If you don't start digging your own grave, you'll only lose out to someone else who will

It’s been a few months now since we announced some exciting new changes to how we operate. Most of you, I’m happy to report, have embraced these changes. You’ve left behind your worldly possessions and marched mile after mile into the countryside. You’ve undertaken your re-education with vim and vigor, two words that are hereafter prohibited for sounding too intellectual. And most, but not all, have eagerly taken up farming implements and begun digging the deep deep trenches into which your newly bullet-ridden bodies will fall for the greater glory of the people.

But, frankly, some of you are not exhibiting the revolutionary spirit we expected.

You should be thinking every day about how you can help the revolution succeed, and if shoveling spadeful after spadeful of dirt from your imminent final resting place is how to do it, then that’s all that should matter. It should not take a barefoot 14-year-old pointing an AK-47 at you to make you start digging.

Some of you have protested. You’ve asked why you should have to dig your own grave, and whether that won’t hasten your untimely demise. It’s a fair point. In fact, that’s why many of you have already been gunned down even though the mass graves aren’t even close to finished.

I ask you to look around at those who have pushed through the doubts and the confusion, and dug the hell out of their own graves. Those are the go-getters! They’re the ones who are ensuring the complete success of our revolution. You should be ashamed to watch them digging with gusto while you drag ass, whisper to the people next to you, and continually eye the distance to the tree line. Just so you know, you’d never make it.

In your previous life, perhaps you were a teacher, a doctor, or a lawyer. Perhaps a life’s worth of study and work has left you wondering why you are standing here now, spade in hand, being politely asked to dig the hole you will die in. This is the wrong question to ask. The right question is why you shouldn’t be digging your own grave right now. Look to your left. Now look to your right. By day’s end, all three of you will be covered in soil and beginning the putrefaction process. That’s how we get results.

Mainly, your complaints are not helpful. Digging slowly and pretending that you lack the physical fitness to perform such an arduous task aren’t helpful. The only thing that helps now is you digging the grave. We all have a part to play. Some are diggers and some are executioners. Still others are planners, and must stand here calculating how many shovels and how many bullets we need in order to dig and then fill the graves. You think that’s easy? Have you spared one single thought for my feelings? Of course you haven’t.

Think of it this way: one way or another, there’s going to be a mass grave here and yours is but one of the dozens of bodies that will fill it. That’s just a fact. Knowing that, you can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. Time to start being part of the solution. The final solution, as it were.

Cigarette?