Apple buries the lede

Apple event is always exciting, but the first Ternus-led Apple event was extra exciting. And why not? Forget the Beatlemania level of excitement that accompanied Ternus’ onstage debut. Apple, at last, debuted a foldable iPhone. The revolutionary innovation we’ve been begging for since Samsung introduced their foldable phone seven years ago. As a longtime iPhone user, I know I’ve been thinking that if I could just fold the damn thing, everything would be allllll right.

Anyway, behold the foldable iPhone!

My god, that’s beautiful. But wait — it seems that Apple has “one more thing” up their sleeve. Did you notice it? This isn’t just an expandable phone. It’s an expandable hand.

All this time, you smoothbrains have been imagining all the amazing things you could do with a foldable phone. The visionaries at Apple, however, were one evolutionary step ahead of you. And that’s why their company is worth 5 trillion dollars.