My "not associated with Jeffrey Epstein" press conference is raising a lot of questions already answered by my press conference

Recently there has been a lot of speculation, or perhaps speculation about future speculation, that I had more than the most passing acquaintance with Jeffrey Epstein, Ghislaine Maxwell, and the rest of that rogues gallery. I’m here today to tell you that none of it’s true. I deny categorically that I ever traveled to Epstein’s island, that I had any knowledge of or involvement in his sex trafficking organization, and that we ever engaged in a brief but torrid love affair. There may be pictures of me with this group, but have you heard about what they’re doing with AI these days?

While we’re at it — just to head off any rumors — I’d like to clear the air about a few other things. On September 11, 2001, it’s true that I rescheduled a cross-country flight from Logan to LAX at the last minute, but any phone records showing an incoming phone call from the CIA to my cell have been fabricated.

Yes, I was in Pripyat on the night of April 26, 1986. And yes, I was touring the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. I have nothing to hide. Because it was the firm conclusion of the official Soviet Union report that I did not order the scram and I did not press the AZ-5 button. These are all documented facts. Your refusal to let this go is, frankly, embarrassing for you.

No one has even accused me of being in the Texas Book Depository at the time JFK was shot. It’s not an issue. As I’ve said over and over, I was on the Grassy Knoll. I am clearly visible in frame 2588 of the Zapruder film not holding a rifle.

I hope this clears everything up and that we can never speak of these things again.