The world may be in flames but at least I platinumed Resident Evil: Requiem

This week the President of the United States threatened to nuke Iran, literally to end their civilization, but at least I finally unlocked all 49 achievements in Resident Evil: Requiem.

Anthropic claimed their latest LLM is too dangerously powerful to be released, and I have beaten the game on Insanity difficulty.

My employer informed us that we will no longer have Friday afternoons off in the summer. Between Memorial Day and Labor Day that means four more hours of work each week, or more time than it took me to unlock the “Speed Demon” achievement.

At least I still have a job. Many in my field can’t say the same. Maybe it’s luck, or maybe it’s because I’m a “Master Craftsman,” having crafted every possible item with Leon.

The anti-vaxx zealot running DHS is directly responsible for a resurgence of measles in this country. Similarly, I collected 5000 microsamples of infected blood with the blood collector. Only 19.8% of players can say the same.

Reality makes less and less sense every day. It’s sort of like the Final Puzzle in Resident Evil: Requiem, a complex, multi-step riddle that requires multiple playthroughs to complete. But what really doesn’t make sense is that completing the Final Puzzle is not tied to an achievement. What’s up with that?

The ground is shifting under our feet. The people running the show are evil, or crazy, or liars, or some combination of all three. The systems are on autopilot and heading straight over the cliff. But as I’m wandering the wasteland from now until my untimely death of radiation poisoning, they’ll never be able to take that platinum trophy away from me.